Batman and the Bat family: Batgirl Origins
by chefke
Summary: Barbara Gordon has great marks in school, a doting father, and a loving boyfriend. So why does she feel like she's missing something? This is a one shot of Barbara Gordon's journey becoming Batgirl. This was a prompt I found in the comments of an older abandoned Batman/Batgirl fic. I won't write here what the prompt was because it will give away the story. I wrote it at the end.


**Batgirl Meets Batman**

Barbara Gordon was sixteen, getting perfect grades, and dating the hottest and richest boy in high school. Life couldn't get better for a girl in high school but for some reason Barbara wasn't happy. School wasn't challenging. She knew all the answers before the teachers asked them. She spend all the time that all of her peers spent studying reinforcing the firewalls at the GCPD or hacking into government files to feed her insatiable curiosity. But it wasn't enough. She felt like she was missing... something.

It's not like she spent all day staring at the ceiling. She was busy, very much so. She was busy with a certain Dick Grayson. Adopted by a multibillionaire playboy, who couldn't care less if Dick attended school let alone pass it. Dick was the polar opposite of Bruce Wayne. He was kind, smart, tender, and sweet. He wanted to wait of all things. Most of her classmates had had sex since the ninth grade, not her and Dick though. He loved her and said it constantly, something her friends had cartoon heart eyes over, but he wanted to wait. To save themselves. She hated pressuring him but she wanted to try it. Not just because everyone else had but because she wanted to move things to the next level with Dick. He understood that and as soon as she finally brought it up that she did want to try the two began to scheme.

Barbara's Dad was a Cop so naturally he hated anything with male genetalia that was within a hundred yards of his baby girl. It was the reason she made sure their dates were always when he was working. Even then there was usually an undercover cop somewhere within fifty feet. Her wanting to have sex with her boyfriend would have given her dad a stroke and probably have him call in the National Guard, she still couldn't get over the time he called SWAT when she snuck out to go to a concert. The two had planned a secret rendezvous while her dad was dealing with this new Riddler crisis. Usually Bruce Wayne made him stay in during a crisis because he was rich and liable to be taken as a hostage which would look bad on Wayne Tech's spotless image. Tonight though, he begged and he managed to get the night off.

She stared out the window waiting for Dick to arrive, he was late. Her building had a basement under their basement, it was completely lead lined so not even her dad knew it was there. There was a filthy cleaning supply closet in the laundry room. Her and Dick had been making out in there once when they both found the door. It was hidden really well. They had only found it because she had been against the wall and they both saw the dusty draft coming up beside Barbara's ears. She looked around the room and sighed. Dick had already decorated the place up so it was barely recognizable. It currently looked like a posh hotel room. How had he managed to sneak a mattress down here? He even managed to sneak in a fridge and a microwave with wine and some food. She tried a couple of bites of a red dipping sauce, she moaned it was so good.

'That good?'

'Seriously. I might move in with you Dick.'

'Wow. You might be in love with Alfred.' She laughed and turned around. His face broke out into a grin that made girls hearts melt. It was infectious and soon she was smiling also. Forgetting she was mad that he was late. She checked him out as he sauntered over to her. He was wearing tight jeans and a dark blue hoody that was pulled over his head. His ever present watch was on his wrist and he was wearing black running sneakers. She tugged on the strings of his hoody and kissed him. She felt her a tingle deep in her belly. She smiled into the kiss. He paused and looked up at her.

'We can stop anytime you want. It's what you feel comfortable with.' She nodded nervously. There was no one else she wanted her first time to be with. She really loved this guy. She smiled shyly at him. He was going to see her naked. Oh my god. What if he thought she was ugly? She started to move her hands to shield her body as they walked backwards towards the bed.

'Can we keep the lights off?' He installed freaking light fixtures.

'Is it because you feel self-conscience? Barbara Jean Gordon you're the most beautiful woman my I have ever laid eyes on.' She giggled as she flushed scarlet.

'Woman?' She was leaning back onto the bed her legs dangling off the end as Dick leaned over her.

'Yes, to me you're a woman. You're almost seventeen. I am seventeen. We're adults.'

'Almost.' She leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her.

His arms ran down the sides of her shirt until it reached the hem of it. He looked into her eyes asking, she nodded. He slowly pulled it over her head, simultaneously kissing up her body as he pulled. He paused and looked at her, her turn. She reached over and pulled up his sweater revealing a tanned six pack. He was thin and muscular, like a cop. She raised her hand.

'May I?' He nodded. She felt his body tense under her fingers. She explored his chest trying to memorize every moment, every touch, every feeling.

'You ready?'

'Yup.' He reached down and pulled of his shoes and his pants. He was wearing boxer shorts and she could see that they were straining. She looked up at him fearfully.

'What if it doesn't fit?'

'It will, you'll stretch remember?' He whispered kissing both of her cheeks. He reached over and gently tugged her skirt down.

'Dick...I-'

'We can stop any time Babs.' She smiled at him. She had never been this vulnerable, with anyone. He saw everything. Everyone one of her flaws and he loved her anyway. Why?

'I love you Dick Grayson.' She whispered as her skirt and panties hit the ground.

He placed his hand right above her clit and she squirmed. He waited smiling at her. Making her calm. Making her feel safe. She smiled at him and nodded. He moved his hand onto of her clit, not pushing just sitting. She started to squirm again, but not for the same reason. She wanted. Her eyes darkened and she looked at him. He nodded and rubbed two of his fingers in circular motions on her clit.

'Let me know if it gets too much Babs.' She could barely understand what he was saying. Every nerve ending on her felt electrified. It didn't take long for her legs to feel wet. It was an odd sensation. He withdrew his hands and she reached up and yanked down his boxers.

'Join me, Dick's Dick?' She giggled. He climbed over her onto the bed and looked down at her hungrily. He placed himself at her entrance and then slowly went in. She felt a sharp sting and then a fullness that filled her whole being.

'Ready?' He whispered.

'Go.'

He moved up and down her body crying out in pleasure. She could see his face concentrating, sweat dripping down from his forehead. She tilted her hips causing him to groan. Smiling she met him for each thrust. It made him go deeper and she moaned with him. It didn't take long for both of them to orgasm. It really was like rainbows and sunshine. He laid down next to her and pulled her close.

'I love you Babs.'

'I love you too. Wanna do that again?' He chuckled.

'I think I need some time baby.' She smiled into his chest. Life couldn't get any more perfect.

She really did want to spend the rest of her life with him. He made her happy and... full? She couldn't quite find the word she needed. Detective Mckinna was standing outside her door as her and Dick walked up the stairs laughing to themselves. She stopped short when Dective Mckinna turned around. That face, the tight drawn stressed face. That was the face her father had when the lost a... She backpedaled into a suddenly tense Dick.

'Barbara, there was a breakout in Arkham they were holding several civilians hostage. You're father traded his life for theirs. The hostages are all safe but we couldn't get your father back. He's not dead Barbara, he's just gone. The Batman went after him but we haven't been able to fi-'

Everything went black as Barbara fell back into Dick's waiting arms.

 _Daddy!_

* * *

2 Weeks Later...

They still hadn't found her dad. Each day was getting worse. She couldn't eat or sleep, she had lost seven pounds. She hadn't been to school at all. Dick was out of his mind with worry. He came every day and forced her to eat something. He would kiss her and tell her he loved her while she cried. He and his dad had hired several private eyes to help find her dad. Nothing was helping. They needed something else. Someone else. She was tired of crying and being helpless she wanted to do something, something that the GCPD wasn't or couldn't do.

Before Dad had been captured he had become partners with some Bat Ninja. People were going crazy over him. The Media wanted to know who he was, Crooked Cops were resigning, and Mob bosses where packing up and leaving Gotham. He had given her father a light to shine on top of the GCPD. Only her father was allowed to shine it and when he did the Batman would come. Her father would give him cases that were too hard for him or cases that the GCPD could not legally handle. Something they needed a dark knight for.

She waited as the light shone in the sky. She knew how much trouble she could get into but she was a Gordon. She-

'Hello Miss Gordon.' She whipped around. Batman and his sidekick Robin were standing on the ledge of the roof.

'Batman. Robin.' They nodded in turn.

'My father-'

'We're doing everything we can Miss. Gordon.' Batman answered gravely.

'That's not good enough. It's been two weeks. They odds of finding a missing person after the first twenty four hours drops from eight percent to five. Five! It's been two weeks. I don't even want to talk about the odds now. I just want to know what you know.' She clenched her fists at her side. Her voice steady and unwavering. She would not take no for an answer. Batman sighed and looked at Robin. They seemed to be having some non-verbal conversation. Robin's blue eyes danced fire at the Batman. She was surprised that anyone would argue with him. He was terrifying in person.

'You're father was taken by the Riddler. He has been moving him constantly. It's the reason the police have no real leads. We think he's playing some sort of riddle game with him. We won't stop looking for him, Barbara.'

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Riddler had taken her dad. He was mentally torturing him. No, Barbara wasn't going to leave the safety of her dad to the all mysterious Batman. She would keep her cool. She would not freak out in front of them. She looked up at them and grinned grimly.

'Thank you for telling me the truth and not sugar coating it. It means the world to me.' She turned to leave.

'Please Miss Gordon leave the police work to the Police.' She nodded. Batman turned around and flew off the roof. Robin hesitated, with one last sad look he turned and followed the Batman. Barbara turned off the light and hurried home. She turned off her phone and locked her front door barricading it from the inside with pieces of furniture. She closed all the shades and blinds and turned on loud Metallica music. She needed to think. She did not have time to break down. Her father was going to be killed by a sociopath.

What could she do? She thought miserably. She looked up in the mirror at her reflection.

 _What could she do?_ She thought fiercely.

She was Barbara Jean Gordon. She was an Olympic trained gymnast, a Computer Hacker, and could shoot better than most of the GCPD. She was Commissioner Gordon's daughter, and she would be damned if she let anything happen to her father. She stood up and moved closer to the mirror. What could she do? No one would take her seriously as sixteen year old mousy Barbara Gordon. She needed to be something stronger, scarier, and bigger. She needed a mask. She needed to be like Batman. She looked up in the mirror and noticed a box on the top of her closet behind her.

She strode over to her closet and pulled out the box. Purple and yellow spandex pooled out into her hands. It was from what was supposed to be her Olympic tryouts in the ninth grade. She had had too much anxiety from the large crowds and her dad had wisely pulled her out. He never even saw the outfit, it was supposed to be a surprise. She ordered it online, no one knew it was there but her. She laid it out on her bed and raced into her father's room. He had a closet full of emergency supplies. She would need to concoct a story for him when he got back. When she got him back. She grabbed everything she could carry and brought it back to her room and began to rifle through the clothes. Kevlar. She needed Kevlar. Score!

She yanked out her sewing machine and began to sew the kevlar into the insides of the suit. It was going to be a little snug. That was okay, the more different she looked the less of a chance she would have to be discovered. She added extra padding in the bra, smiling while she did it. No one would ever guess Barbara Gordon was a C cup. She grabbed her backup suit and cut out a bat sign and sewed it across the chest. What else? Shoes and mask. She cut open the bottom of her leotard and sewed them into her mountain climbing shoes. She used the extra material to create a cowl like Batman. Robin just had a mask but she wanted people to think she was older. It would confuse them and it would help hide her identity. She pulled on the suit yanking out any last pins and tucking her hair in. Her hair was her main identifier, bright red and 'beautiful enough to stop traffic.' Dick always used to say that. She wasn't sure what Dick would say now. Would he be ashamed? Mad? She shook her head, now wasn't about him, it was about her other love. Her dad.

She yanked a belt out of her father's ammo and tightened it around her waist. She double looped it around her securing it tightly. She took apart a small tablet and affixed it to her wrist. She was hacked into the GCPD and FBI currently. Homeland Security was still coming online. Every single traffic Cam was going to show up on her wrist as she approached the area. She had her ammo and her tech. She also affixed a Cape. Batman had a cape, it aided with aerodynamics and she had a grapple gun on her very heavy belt if she needed to make a quick get away.

What else was she missing? Fingerprints. She couldn't leave fingerprints, they were traceable. She opened her closet and rifled through it until she found her black gloves from last years halloweens party and yanked them on. She didn't even recognize herself. The woman staring back at her was some Vixen, a Bat Catwoman. It was odd, but that was a good thing. If she didn't recognize Barbara Mousey Gordon, no one else would.

Now to find her father she would have to find some scum bags who would be willing to talk. She needed a ride first. She snuck out the window and into the back garage. Her dad had a Harley from his younger days, back when he was fresh out of the military. She yanked the white sheet off of it to find it still shining. She gunned up the engine praying for a full tank. Full. Thank God. Or the Bat God. Whatever.

She swung her leg over the seat. She was doing this. She was really doing this. Her adrenaline was pumping. First order of Bat business; she needed to outrun two half sleeping deputies outside her house. No biggie.

* * *

Outrunning the two sleeping deputies was no biggie. Trying to get gang bangers to talk was in fact a biggie, as it turned out. Asking nicely wasn't working so she flipped the table in motorcycle bar narrowly missing a baseball bat to the head. She spied a smaller gang banger sneaking out the back door, he couldn't have been older than her. She covered her mouth and tossed a gas grenade, slipping out the back with her target.

'Hello.' She was going for Sultry and dangerous. Based on the face the boy made when he turned around... goal achieved.

'There's a Batgirl?'

'There are lots of things you don't know. Question is if you want your arms intact to ever ask anymore questions.' She swung her leg out knocking him to the ground. He hid the ground face down with a thud and she pinned her arms behind him. Once she was seated on his back she pulled hard enough that he yelled.

'So what's it gonna be tough guy?'

'I can't talk. Black Mask-'

'I don't care about Black Mask.'

'Wha-'

'I want Riddler. He owes me money. I mean to collect.' She yanked harder watching sweat bead down his head. She didn't want to hurt him but she had no idea how much time her dad had left before he went mad and had to be committed to Arkham. She wouldn't lose her dad.

'What the hell kind of Bat are you?' He panted.

'An angry kind. Speak or lose your arm. Last chance.'

'There's an Abandoned warehouse on third and Pike.' he was whimpering now.

'Source?'

'I was part of a team sent to deliver umm... gifts last week.'

'Gifts?'

'Guns?' She yanked at handcuffs and tied them to his hands. She strapped her disposable tape recorder to his chest and tied him to the light post. She pulled out his cellphone and dialed 911 while he screamed his protests in the background. After she gave the dispatcher the address she took off on her bike. She was speeding towards the warehouse, she had verified the intel on her way. She was a different person. She wasn't Barbara Gordon she was Batgirl. They were two different people. Batgirl was getting good at riding a motorcycle. She liked how she felt like she was flying. She couldn't wait to try the grapple gun.

She could see Batman scaling the rooftop, she looked around and did not see Robin anywhere. Why would he go solo on such a big mission? She waited until he slipped into the building. He probably already had a plan in place and she didn't want to jeopardize it. Her father's safety was at risk. She would provide backup and should the Batman fail or lose her father she would go after him. She slipped through a window opposite him. He was looking at her, assessing her. Seeing if she was a threat. Silently, she pulled her Eskrima Sticks from her back under her cape. She tossed one over his head where it hit a thug directly in the forehead and he went down quietly. Batman picked up her stick and threw it back at her. He motioned for her to be quiet.

She followed him quietly. He took out several opponents with Bat shaped throwing stars. She stayed behind him and followed his numerous directives. They finally made it to the back room where her father was chained to a chair in the center of the room. He looked back at her and motioned to her Eskimo Sticks and to the thugs in the back of the room. There were four. Big. She could take them. She calculated each one and waited. She looked up to see Batman watching her. She gave him a thumbs up and he nodded tossing two grenades and dropped into the room. She watched as he shielded her father with his cape and dragged him from the room and tossed him out of a blown out window. She dropped onto the shoulders of the middle thug dropping him immediately and electrifying and zapping the one on the right in the temple. He went down like a stone.

The third and fourth were now aware of her and coming at her hard. She ducked and rolled out of the way as the thugs fist connected with a support beam. She heard him howl as he shattered his hand. She swiped his feet out from under him and hit him in the head knocking him out cold. The fourth had made it to her and she used his downward punch to catapult herself in the air. She landed on the support beam in time to see two thugs sneaking up on Batman while he engaged five thugs in front of him. She tossed two concusive grenades at them knocking them out. It put her timing off with the last thug. He had time to draw a gun. She flipped up the beam trying to stay out of reach.

'Come back Batsy Barbie.' She froze at the name. That was what her father called her Barbie Gordon. She looked up to assess the situation when she saw three throwing stars coming at her. She wrapped her legs around the pole and caught all three. One connected with the thug below hers gun as he fired. It blew backwards and knocked him out. She climbed up the beam and moved towards Batman. She could see at least five thugs on the support beams lining the ceiling that they had come in on. She picked up a pile of pipes and tossed them at their legs sending them falling off of the beams. She sprinted closer to the Batman. He was surrounded. One held up a grenade over his head, she tossed the throwing star at the grenade and it exploded knocking out him and the two guys next to him. Batman took care of the rest.

She headed outside with him clutching the batarang for support. Now was the hard part. She would have to see her dad. She could not react. She had to be brave. She had to be strong.

And she was. He had a broken arm, a fractured leg, concussion, and would need surgery according to the EMT that was already loading him onto a stretcher. She moved to follow but Batman held up a hand and pointed up. There was a roof across the street. She paused and looked at him confused. He held out his right hand and for reasons unknown she took it. As she took his hand his left hand fired his grappling hook up towards the building. He pulled her close and sailed up into the night with her. She hugged her arms around his waist marveling at the fact that she was actually flying. He let her down once they were on the roof and gathered up his supplies. She walked to the edge of the roof to survey the scene below.

She watched from the roof as her father was loaded into the ambulance. There were two additional decoy ambulances going to different hospitals and each had two patrol cars in the front and two in the back. She breathed a little easier. She wanted to follow them all the way to the hospital. It was still dark she could use the cover of night and swing with her grapple hook. She turned and handed the Batman back his throwing star.

'Thanks for the throwing star.'

'They're called Batarangs.' He replied brusquely. So he did speak to other masked vigilantes.

'Oh.'

'This isn't a partnership. You were a help. Good for you. Now, go home and burn the suit and return to whatever you normally do. I have no idea where you got all that ammo from but turn it into the GCPD. You have until morning or **I** come and find you.' He managed to pack as much venom and animosity into his little speech. It made her already enraged temper flare.

'You have no right!'

'I have every damn right!' His hand poked her chest causing her boobs to ripple and bounce, not his desired affect she bet. 'Your wearing my damn signal and you're a kid!'

'Kid? So, I'm a goat now?'

'What?'

'Kid. It means baby goat. Look it up or learn grammar!'

'What does that even- Damn it. You're a frustrating child!' Their faces were getting very close together. Close enough that she could make out his human features, eyes, ears, mouth... She could see the anger in his eyes reflecting her own out of control anger. Their capes mingled together in the wind as they stared each other down.

'Im sixteen! Hardly a child, and your so damn stubborn you can't even see that you need help!' She could feel his heavy breath on her face. Her nose was basically touching his. Their faces were both flushed in fury. She opened her mouth at the same time he did and they collided.

Their lips collided at the same time. Heat coursing through them, as their anger manifested itself into passion. His hands grabbed her ass lifting her up and against him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and slid her hands up what little of his face was revealed under his mask. He pushed her against the gate around the roof top generator. She sighed as he kissed down her neck leaving a trail of fire and frayed nerves as he went. She couldn't string a single coherent thought together.

She began to grind her hips against his pelvis and she heard him groan. An unbatman like groan. He flipped her over and pulled her down to the floor. He had tossed his cape under her to protect her back from the dirty glass infested roof. Batman was thoughtful. Her cape was thrown off and she yanked her zipper down pulling her pants to her ankles. She looked up to see that he had yanked his pants down and had removed his belt revealing him to be very very hard. You couldn't tell through his suit at all.

She reached up to stroke him. He slipped her belt off and placed it next to the cape. He looked at her questioningly and she nodded. He was kind. He reached out and two fingers slipped deep into her. She was already very wet. Her world whited out for several seconds as he pumped his fingers in and out of her. She gasped and clawed at his back trying to hold back her orgasm. She cried out when she came not caring that she was on a roof and was easily heard by people below her. His lips came down on hers again hard. The kiss was bad and good at the same time. It was hard and rough but pleasuring her at the same time. She moaned into his mouth.

'In me.' He didn't even bother looking up. He flipped her over again so she was on all fours and rammed into her from behind. She bit down on her tongue to stop herself from crying out in pleasure or pain, she wasn't sure. Blood filled her mouth and she opened it so she wouldn't choke. She was letting out soft mewling noises that didn't sound like her at all. Batgirl made these noises not her. He rammed into her quickly and rhythmically. She felt her body get hot and cold at the same time as he slammed into her. She tried to hold back her scream but it was too much. She was seeing black spots and light all over her vision. She was being fucked and it felt good.

He clapped his hand over her mouth as she orgasmed again stopping from what would have been a scream loud enough to bring the cops. He came right after her, quietly moaning into.

'Batgirl.' He collapsed on top of her and she felt the air go out of her lungs. Neither of them had fully removed their costumes. He had no idea who she was and she had no idea who he was. He hadn't even seen a wisp of red hair. He rolled off of her and before he could move towards her she zipped herself up, gathered her things, and staggered off to her bike. She needed a shower and to rest for a week.

.

.

.

She climbed into her window in haze. She didn't even remember getting back. He was amazing. Like Porn sex amazing. She smiled to herself as she changed into her regular clothes so she could go to the hospital when she got the phone call. She switched her phone on and looked in the mirror and her smile froze on her face. She had fifteen missed calls from Dick.

Oh, god. What had she done? Dick. Oh, god. Oh, god.

She began to pace. What the hell had she done?! She loved Dick. Batman was amazing but she loved Dick. Why the hell had she done this?! She turned around and fled from her house, from her terrible decisions, and from her guilt. She grabbed ahold of the motorcycle and raced out of the driveway. She could hear her phone buzzing but she didn't answer it. Everything was covered in a red haze. She wasn't even sure where she was going until she pulled up to Wayne Manor. She pulled into the service entrance using the code Dick had given her long ago. She panicked as she killed the engine and walked into the manor. What was she going to say? What was she going to do?

She collapsed into the armchair in the study. A large portrait of Dick's parents stared down at her judging her for her monumental mistake. She turned away from the picture and looked at the clock it was four AM. She had barged into someone's home at four AM. She sighed. She needed to sneak back out. She would-

She froze as she heard a voice and ducked into the plushy chair so she wouldn't be seen. She heard a loud noise and then Alfred appeared. Out of the Clock. _What the hell?_

'Shall I recall Master Dick?'

'Yes, Alfred. He's been circling the city looking for Barbara for hours. She'll go to the hospital soon enough.' Bruce Wayne. That was definitely Bruce Wayne, he sounded tired. How the hell did he know they found her father? No one knew except her, the EMT, and...

Oh, god. No. This was not happening. No. No. She waited till she could no longer hear Alfred's footsteps and she sprung up from the couch. After a quick inspection of the Clock she found that if she pulled the back gong it opened to a secret service elevator. She stepped in without thinking. She needed to think, that was what got her into this whole mess. Her mind was frozen. There was no way that Bruce Wayne was Batman. It would explain why Dick was always disappearing during crisis. Oh God, Dick was Robin. That would explain why he was so concerned on the roof. She cheated on Dick with his father! She felt her heart ache in her chest. She would fix this. She didn't deserve Dick but she couldn't break up Batman and Robin. The city needed them.

She stepped out of the elevator to blackness. She waited for her eyes to adjust and walked into a cave. The fabled Batcave. She looked to see Batman sitting with her back to her at large grouping of screens. He was watching traffic Cams while simultaneously going through police reports. He needed an upgrade to his software. His way was taking too long. She could shorten his time for sifting through information, marginally.

'Dick. Didn't think you'd be back so soon. Did you find Barbara?' He didn't bother to turn around his eyes strained on the screen. Now or never, Batgirl.

'No, but you did.' She ducked as a batarang sailed over her head. He was standing his hood down. However devastatingly handsome Bruce Wayne was in a suit, it was nothing compared to him in a cowl. But it meant nothing to her, all she felt was sadness. She lost Dick over one stupid mistake.

'Barbara?' He was floored. She had managed to shock the great detective. 'Wha-'

'I came looking for Dick. I saw Alfred leaving the Batcave.'

'Barbara. You can't-' She cut him off, she didn't have time for this now, Dick would be back soon.

'It's me.' Her voice broke and her hands shook. She lost everything. She lost her Dick. Her world.

'What?' She looked up into his eyes her eyes brimming with tears.

'It's me, Batman.' Comprehension and horror dawned on his face at the same time. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

'It was an accident. A mistake. I am going to tell Dick. Not that it was you but that it happened. I can't split up Batman and Robin. It's too important. I'll retire my cape. I'll hide all the evidence I was ever here. You don't have to worry about me. I won't tell anyone.' Tears were running freely down her cheeks now. How could she make such a colossally stupid mistake? How could she? What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she be like regular people who didn't make stupid mistakes? Who didn't do stupid things? What was wrong with her? She sank to the floor and was sobbing before she was done rambling to the Batman who had more important things to do than listen to a mess of a teenage girl unravel in his base of operations.

It was a humongous surprise when she felt strong familiar arms go around her and hug her caressing her back gently.

'It's okay Barbara. We were all teenagers once. Everyone makes stupid mistakes. Speak to Dick.' She sobbed harder. He froze and lifted his cowl.

'Yes, I read you Robin.'

'Yeah, the reason she isn't answering her phone or on any traffic Cams is because she's here.'

'No, not in the house. In the Cave.' She could hear him yelling through Batman's cowl. He was going to be here in a minute. She yanked herself away from Batman and collided into Alfred holding a tray of tea, sandwiches, and cookies. He nodded for her to follow as Batman took a progress report from Robin.

He walked with her to a table on the far left next to a sparring mat. He put down the tray and motioned for her to sit. She sat numbly. Dick was coming. What was she going to say to him. What was she going to do? She knew what she was going to do. She was going to break up with him. Spare him the heart ache of knowing he had been cheated on. She felt sobs wrack her chest and her body shake. She felt Alfred's arms go around her shoulders.

'Sh...Sh... It's alright Miss. Gordon. It's going to be alright.' She withdrew from him.

'No. It won't be. I don't deserve this.' She turned and fled the Cave. As she ran she saw Batman stand up to go after her in alarm. He had almost reached the path to the fit when Alfred raised a hand.

'Let her go Bruce. She needs to be on her own.' She ran out of the elevator and through the hallway towards the service entrance. She was almost at her bike when she collided painfully with something hard and big. Dick. His eyes were large and panicked.

'Barby. Please. Let me explain. It wasn't my secret to tell.' She moved around him. She couldn't do this now. He didn't deserve her.

'Please don't leave me. Please' He was pleading with her desperation taking over his voice. She couldn't talk, she couldn't speak. She didn't trust her voice. She didn't trust her. It would be a while before she trusted any decision she made. Her thought process stopped short when he dropped to his knees arms around her thighs and head buried into her stomach.

'Please, Barbara. I'll give it up for you. If you want me to. For you Barbara. But please don't leave me. Not over this. Please.' She could feel her shirt getting wet and the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them.

'It's not you Dick. It's-' He looked up his eyes red and his face a mask of pain. How had she done this?

'Don't you dare! Don't you dare, try and break up with me like that!' He was shaking and so was she.

'This isn't about you Dick!'

'Yes it is! I lied and you're mad! I was trying to protect you! I didn't want you to be involved. I-'

'No!' She was shouting. 'I don't care that you lied. You're right, it wasn't your secret. I didn't come here to find out your secrets, Dick. I came here because _I_ did something unforgivable, not you. Because _I'm_ not worthy of you.' She stopped short. Tears were spilling down her cheeks and her hair was lose whipping into her face. The sun had come up and it was casting pretty shadows on Dicks face. He was beautiful. Heart breakingly beautiful. She wouldn't be able to see him in school. It would break her already broken heart. She would speak to her dad. He would send her away for her last year and a half of high school. She could blame it on stress of Gotham. She couldn't take losing Dick, it was too much.

Her silence must have spoke volumes because Dick was silent. He stood up and stepped back from her. She could see him fighting to control his face. To keep his face calm, she knew him to well. He wanted to scream and shout. He knew. He knew but he was fighting it, praying he was wrong. He stood up and took a step back from her surveying her face.

'Barbara.' She looked down at her feet and shoved her hands in her pockets. Her mask was in her pocket. She had to get through this.

'Barbara. What did you _do_?' He managed to pack more heartbreak in those five words than every Nicholas Sparks book she had ever read combined. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the mask and placed it into his shocked hands.

'You know what I did. You're a detective. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it because I didn't love you. I do. I love you Richard Grayson. I thought I lost my father and... There's no excusing what happened. But it _was_ an accident. I think I went crazy. I hurt you and I was wrong. I won't put our relationship through that. You shouldn't have to forgive or forget something like this. I know I won't forgive myself. Not ever.' She paused and looked at the mask he was still staring at. They both had tears running down their cheeks. Both heartbroken over her stupid mistake.

'Did you love him?' Her throat went dry and she needed to lean on her bike for support. She was going to crumble. She deserved to hit the pavement.

'No. It was an impulse. I never met him before.' She stared down at her fingers watching water droplet hit them. 'It was an accident. A stupid stupid accident.' They were silent for what felt like an eternity. She straightened up. She needed to get to the hospital before her dad woke up.

'I love you.' He whispered. Her heart was physically broken. She wasn't sure how she was ever going to get over this.

'I love you too. But it doesn't change what I did. It never will. I can't make up for what I did.' She turned and got on her motorcycle. She turned back after her helmet was on, he was still staring at the mask.

'We could have been great.' He whispered, she barely heard it over her motorcycle.

'I know, you don't deserve me. I'm not sure you ever did.' He looked up at her in misery. His eyes pleading for her not to leave.

'Goodbye Richard.' He slumped to the ground again his shoulders shaking. She could see Bruce at the doorway, Alfred hovering behind him.

'Goodbye.' She turned on her motorcycle and sped off towards Gotham General her heart irreparably broken.

* * *

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! (ducking things that are being thrown at me) SORRY!

 _This is a one shot based off of a prompt I saw in a fanfic comments (_ _don't remember which one, sorry) asking for smut with Batman and Batgirl but neither knowing who the other was. Happy Smut Sunday!_

 _-Chefke_

 _PS. Has anyone heard of the Death Eater Express? Is there a Facebook group like that for Batgirl/Batman Fanfic Shippers?_


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